You Don't Know Me! I Do What I Want!*

Greetings, dear readers!  I feel like I have been saying this at work a lot lately, so I am going to explain how I got to this point of doing what I want.

*To get to the point of doing whatever you want in prison, you need to build the professional collateral with your fellow staff and most importantly your chain of command, as well as anyone and everyone who could ever possibly be in your chain of command.  Which could literally be everyone.

To build professional collateral, consider following the following steps:

1. Be nice to people.  Yes, a lot of people won't be nice to you because they think you are a chocolate heart who is just there to give offenders stuff they shouldn't have.  Don't let the haters spew their haterade all over your game.  Heap coals of fire upon their heads by being so nice, and so helpful, and so polite that they can not say a negative word against you.

2. Always be willing to jump in and get dirty to help out where needed.  Pair up with officers or other blue staff so they can see how awesome you are.  You get to learn a new job and help with facility security and BONUS also do some library outreach!

3. Pick your battles.  Learn what's important to your chain of command, and be mindful of that when you are making decisions.  Does your major always want to know what other facilities are doing certain things when you just want to be a trailblazer and who cares who else does it already?  Think about how important it really is, do some research and present your plan in terms they can understand.  Are you the only facility to do something, AND it is a drastic change from the status quo?  Might be an issue to consider picking your battle and putting it on the back burner until there is someone more amenable in your chain of command.

4. Always give 100%.  If your colleagues see your positive attitude, willingness to help, ability to follow policy, you showing up to work every day, AND on time, you will look really good in an environment where "banging off" is a common occurrence to just get an extra day off and use sick time rather than vacation time.
5. Be personable.  This is different from being nice, in that you can be nice, but people still might not take notice if you are not personable as well.  This includes being engaging, making people laugh, caring about what people are saying to you, and making an impression on everyone you interact with.  I think a lot of times introverts are drawn to librarianship, and being an introvert is not a bad thing, by any means.  But in prison, you are always on stage, and if being in front of people and interacting with people makes you uncomfortable or awkward, maybe you would want to consider a cataloging or IT position.  Being personable also means talking to people with nice tones, and not talking down to them or yelling at them about things.  I like to think of everyone as my customer at my bar.  Even though they don't pay me with tips anymore, I still treat them like they do and everyone is happy.  Snotty bartenders = no tips.  Snotty prison librarians = probably not many people would lift a finger if you were being assaulted in the library.

6. Give it time.  You can't just come waltzing in and expect everyone to know how awesome you are just because you are the librarian.  Getting to the point of doing what you want takes time, I think I put in about 4 years of time before I really became able to do what I wanted more often than not.

7. Have humility.  Sometimes, being able to do whatever you want goes to your head and you might do some things that don't work out as planned.  Be willing to take responsibility for your actions, and apologize if necessary.  Use everything as a learning experience and possibly your next time of doing what you want will work out better.

8. Have a sense of humor.  People like to hang around with people who make them laugh.  I started out saying "I do what I want!" as a joke a little bit before I actually started doing what I wanted to get people used to the idea.  I said "I do what I want!" and then did what they wanted.  Maybe a little tricky... I just like to look at it as my personality.  I like to exaggerate to make a point.  People now understand and appreciate that because I make it funny.  Maybe it's all just a part of my evil plan to take over the world.  Who knows. :-)

Success Through Attrition

I contribute my success in prison to two things:
1. Being awesome
2. Being in the right place at the right time

When I moved back to the great state I call home, I was working as a bartender again and my BFF said "Hey, you should TOTALLY apply for this job!  I see it open ALL THE TIME!"  "Ok," I thought, "I will apply to feel like I am doing something to further my librarian career because I will NEVER get it."  Well little did I know, I was hired as one of two Library Staff because the library recently had a retirement, a promotion, and a moving-to-another-state quitting.  I was the low man on the totem pole throughout basic training but I didn't care because I was so excited to have a library job.  Who cared that my days off were Wed/Thurs, I was WORKING IN MY FIELD.

Fast forward through BT and arrive at Day 3 on the job.  My colleague decided she was actually not a good fit for prison so all of a sudden I was the Number 1 Minion.  My days off were still Wed/Thurs, but now as soon as the next person got hired I would have seniority.  It was going to be great!  Until it took a year to hire someone.  BUT, that actually worked out well in the end because I learned to run EVERYTHING in the library and to do it short-staffed, which unfortunately is an all too common scenario in prison libraries because the bureaucracy makes it so hard to hire people.

The next minion hired was, alas, also not a good fit.  She lasted a couple months.  There we were, back to square one, me still with Wed/Thur off.  Finally, another year after THAT, we hired Minion Number 2, who, thankfully is still employed with us and is an awesome minion.  (Note to self-have a blog called Tips for Being a Good Minion...)  But, as luck would have it, right around the time we hired Minion Number 2 (who has since promoted to Minion Number 1) our Greatest Consultant Boss decided to pursue a career in a different field, which required her to step down as the Greatest Consultant Boss.  While we mourned her passing out of the library field, it actually opened up a golden opportunity for my boss to promote.  She got the position and suddenly, there was a promotion available for me!  (Note-I had to fight TOOTH AND NAIL to get this position.  I had to just say, look, let me take the test.  If I don't pass, I will let it go.  And guess who was the NUMBER ONE SCORE......... ME!  But, all's well that ends well.  Happy two year boss anniversary to me.  Ha!)

So here we are, I have now been the boss for two years, thanks to the perfectly-timed retirements and promotions.  I also just had my 5 year anniversary in prison, which means I am now vested in my retirement (yay) and earning 10 hours of vacation a month (SUPER HAPPY YAY!) which makes it a little harder to leave, because starting over anywhere would cause me to lose those hard-earned benefits.  I think that's how they get you...

So, future prison librarians, keep this in mind: it's a little bit what you know, a lot who you know, and the majority being in the right place at the right time and having put in enough blood, sweat and tears (but not tears in front of the offenders, wait until you get to the lobby to cry) to show people that you are the best and most awesome choice for the promotion.  Until next time!

On the benefits of having a yoga practice when you work in prison

Greetings loyal readers! It's your friendly neighborhood prison librarian back again with the intention to be more mindful of writing more posts to keep this blog interesting.  Today's topic is the importance of having a yoga practice to maintain your sanity while working in prison. Yoga is popular as a workout but it is also a great tool for changing your mindset and that, in my opinion, is the number one most important coping mechanism you need behind bars.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with yoga, here is a great article to get you started learning about all your yoga options. I prefer vinyasa because I really like to feel like I am getting a workout and when I am focused on my breath and movement I am not worrying about anything else. I can also take that focus and use it when I am feeling overwhelmed and just re-center and focus on the task at hand.

Yoga has also helped me cultivate a mindset of service. When my focus is what I can do for others, I am much happier because even if they don't immediately appreciate what I am doing, it makes me feel better to do it. I think the meaning of life is finding happiness through helping others and there are few better places to help others than prison.

In my facility there are even yoga classes for the offenders. I haven't been to one so I don't know how popular they are but one clerk is always promoting it in the library and our yoga books are frequently on hold. Our old warden was a huge proponent of yoga as a positive leisure activity, so hopefully the new regime will stay on that bandwagon.

When I first started in prison, for some reason I caught the attention of the staff on the Emergency Response Team. They wanted me to join, but I was unable to do the required 2 pull-ups because my upper body strength was not awesome. Now, after 2 years of yoga practice I am "stacked" and can do at least 2 pull-ups. I am still not going to join the team because I actually like being a librararian and don't want to be pulled away from the library for activations for half the month, but the point is that yoga gave me the strength to lift my body weight up by my hands not just once but at least twice.

If you are skeptical about yoga, you don't have to go to a studio at first. You Tube has many free yoga videos to watch so you can get the hang of it. Personally I love going to the studio both for the adjustments which help me do the poses better but also for the inspirational things the teachers say. Powerful words are powerful for a reason and the universe gives you what you need when you need it. If you are feeling frustrated with your position in life, no matter where you are, open your mind and go to yoga. You may be sore the next day but you will not regret it. Until next time!

Namasté.

Prison Urban Legends, Episode 2

Greetings future prison librarians! I hope this Memorial Day weekend finds everyone enjoying the sun and BBQing! Today's post is one I feel like I may have addressed before but it comes around often enough in prison that I think it is ok to talk about it again if I did already.

Today's Prison Urban Legend is the one about free money for felons. Now before you use any minute of your precious time research this question for your patrons, know this: THERE IS NO FREE MONEY FOR PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN IN PRISON. My minions and I think this is just a scam perpetrated by other ex-felons to dupe their less savvy homies.

So, how do you answer that ubiquitous reference question that you will be asked at least 792 times in your career as a prison librarian? In true reference librarian fashion, I like to ask for what they are wanting the money? If they say they need it to pay for school, give them a FAFSA form. If they need it to pay for an apartment when they get out, refer them to the social services in their destination county. Social Security will also pay people early if they can prove extreme hardship and you can refer them to the local Social Security office or Nolo Guide if they would like more information.

Many times patrons will give up after you tell them there's nothing in this world for free, but for the ones who are serious about not going back to the streets and selling drugs or themselves to survive, the prison library is going to be their best resource for getting the financial aid to turn their lives around. And that, as ex-felon Martha Stewart says, is a VERY good thing.

Wacky prison weather

Generally our prison doesn't have wacky weather but today was definitely an exception. I was sitting at my desk, happily recataloging CDs and enjoying the fact that my afternoon meeting was cancelled when I looked out the window and noticed it getting dark--FAST.

Now I am generally a weather exaggerator because things are more dramatic and hilarious that way. However, today no exaggeration was needed. The dichotomy of blue sky to the left and black clouds to the right was meterologocally beautiful. After the tornado green was thrown in, it was a sky to rival the sunrises from my deck.

I called my HB because he is in the know about things like that and I figured if I was going to get blown to another state I could at least say Loveyoubye. Then I called the Teacher 2 and said "Hey! Come on down and watch this crazy weather with me!" because tornadoes are always more fun with friends. By the time she got there the convective energy was really starting to build and we watched, mesmerized, as the clouds swirled faster and faster.

We were gaping out the window when we heard the sirens go off and a voice came over the radio and said "Everyone get AWAY from the windows!" because I guess we were not the only ones looking haha.  We decided to go out and see what everyone else was doing and round people up to get them to safety.

One of my colleagues called Control and they said to get everyone away from the glass and take shelter, so because the bathrooms were full I took another teacher and her class to my storage closet which has no windows, just huge heavy shelving units and thousands of books. But I figured hey, if we were going to die, at least we would die surrounded by great literature.

Now, one thing to know about prison library patrons, especially women, is that many of them have PTSD. Things like this freak them out big time. The group with me was pretty calm, even though one girl asked in all seriousness if we were going to die. To maintain the peace, and because I didn't feel like we were going to die, I told her "Nope. No dying today" and she was mollified.

When all the craziness of torrential rain, wind and hail passed, I called Control to ask if it was safe to come out now. "Come out of where?" they asked. "Um, SHELTER..." I replied. "Nobody went into shelter," they told me. "EVERYONE was in shelter up here," I informed her. Classic case of one hand not knowing what the other is doing apparently.

Times like this make me wish we had a camera because the clouds were amazing and the amount of hail afterwards looked like a snow storm had hit. We were instructed to send everyone back (escorted...unescorted....depended on whom you asked haha) and then return to whatever it was we were doing before almost-mageddon.

Let this be a lesson though, potential prison librarians. Become familiar with emergency procedures and evacuation routes and shelters because you never know when you will have to take charge in an emergency because other people are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Until next time!

Literary Profiling

In September there was a discussion amongst my colleagues about a book that should possibly be added to our Materials Incompatible list due to violating the selection criteria by having lots of depictions of actions or conduct prohibited by law, namely pedophilia.  The cover flap of this book even says (and I paraphrase) "The main character of this story has a sexual penchant for fourteen year old boys!" Personally, I don't think reading books about someone who likes fourteen year old boys is any more likely to make you a pedophile than reading books about people who like S&M will make you a dominatrix, but policy is policy.

Where I take umbrage is that I received this book as a donation today. From Property. Which means that the Mail Room let it into the facility. The Mail Room, who is supposed to be the gate keeper of censorship. The Mail Room who also sends EVERY URBAN FICTION BOOK to the reading committee for "questionable content." The Mail Room who wants to censor a photograph of a teeny tiny side boob that is no bigger than my pinky nail in a 450 page magazine. They find the smallest side boob, BUT THEY MISS THE BOOK THAT SAYS "sex with fourteen year old boys inside!" RIGHT ON THE COVER???

Now here is where my delimma enters into the picture. Do I take it triumphantly down to the Mail Room and wave it in their faces and say "You philistines! Look, LOOK what you let in, when you freak out over every opaquely covered hard nipple in Vogue! Clearly you are profiling the books and magazines you send to the reading committee because you have NO IDEA WHAT TO LOOK FOR!" ?? Heck no I am not going to do that even though I want to really bad. Because if I do that, I think it will backfire and lead to the Mail Room censoring even more materials. It's a fine line in prison my future prison librarians. One must learn to pick one's battles and to defend the freedom to read in all forms even if that form happens to be the lack of attention to detail on the part of the censors.

Until next time!

Lockdown, Day 792...I'm getting really tired of scooping butter...

Haha not really, but after 10 days of being locked down it sure seems like it!

Just a quick update for everyone: nobody has tested positive for norovirus so everyone is sick with something else.  Could be the flu, could be a case of She'ssicksoIwillpretendtobesicktoo-itis.  Regardless, this is the longest time in my tenure we have been locked down with no library services.

During this time I have run the gamut of odd jobs and I can now provide a definitive ranking of the jobs mentioned in the previous post.  My top favorite is Canteen. Librarians are perfect canteen workers because we have attention to detail and excellent organizational skills. My line of items filled: no mistakes. Plus, as always, they have snacks.

Laundry has moved up into my second favorite other job but mainly because the staff over there is amazing. It really helps when the staff you are helping expresses their gratitude and laundry staff definitely did while we were there.  Another reason laundry is great is because I wear a Fitbit now and in one day I walked 14,000 steps! I never realized how far you really go when you are just walking from dryer to folding table.  I was also able to teach the laundry staff some new folding methods including the Circle Fold (wrap clothes into a circle with your hands, throw in pile and fold the next one) and the Alternating Color Sheet Folding Pile.  Some might call that ADD.  I call it being creative! 

Finally the kitchen is my third place to work.  It definitely gave me a lot more respect for the huge amount of work that goes into feeding 1,000 people with workers who are not working there because they want to.

Now, luckily, we have escaped to a librarian conference so for the rest of the week we will be filling our brains with best practices and getting excited about our jobs again.  Until next time!