Liberry Lady and the Case of the Missing Chit

Good evening, dear readers!

Have you ever felt that everyone around you at work has lost their everloving minds?  No?  Well then you my friend are either unemployed or very lucky haha.  For the rest of us, here is a story that will make you *facepalm* all the way through your head.

On Thursday I was leaving work and turning in all of my equipment, happy to be on my merry way on a fine Friday Eve, but little did I know that was not to be.  Now, a little background before we get into the meat of this story for those of you who have not yet worked in a prison.  When one becomes a prison employee, one is issued a variety of casino-chip like metal circles called "chits."  These chits are made of metal but are sometimes rectangle-shaped, so maybe not everyone feels like they have won the slot machine when they turn in their equipment at the end of the day, I don't know, I guess it just depends on who makes them for you.

Anyway, I have pretty good attention to detail being a librarian, and I also had it ground into my brain in BT that you NEVER EVER EVER UNDER THE PENALTY OF SERIOUS BODILY INJURY forget or lose your chits.  We were made to believe that, should one forget to bring their chits to work one day, or misplace a chit, tons of terrible things would happen, not the least of which would be the inability to get your necessary equipment that day.  Needless to say, I am very protective of my two golden and one red chit and I was proud of the fact that I worked in prison for 5 years and 4 months and still had my original issue chits.

When I opened up the trap door to receive my chits that I had exchanged for my keys, radio, and OC, I was dismayed to see that the red one just looked...different.  It was much shinier than I was used to, and when I turned it over to examine the engraved name on the front I was shocked to see a name that wasn't mine.

"Excuse me," I said to Master Control staff, "but this is not my chit."  They came to the window and I gave it back to them because sometimes it happens where they just accidentally grab the wrong one.  However, upon further examination of the OC holder bin, it was discovered that my chit WAS NOT THERE AT ALL.  After a terse exchange with the Sergeant, it was determined that I should hold the incorrect chit "hostage" because some staff member (Day Shift, according to Swing Shift, naturally, because they all hate each other) gave this person my chit and the person with my chit clearly does not have as good of attention to detail as me so they didn't wonder why their formerly shiny red OC chit was suddenly beat up and not nearly as gleaming.  Of course, this person had Friday/Saturday as their weekend so there was going to be no solution to this problem until Monday.

Well fast-forward to today and whadoyaknow but my chit was still MIA.  I headed up to the library with a radio and keys and a fervent hope that today would not be the day where shenanigans went down in the library and I would need to issue my first burst of OC to a misbehaving offender.  I opened my email to find a response to my request that the person with my chit please bring it to the library on Monday that said they had given it to Master Control yesterday.  Ok, fine, I thought, I will call them back and let them know that it should be there.  Unfortunately, Master Control staff still had no idea where my wayward chit had gone, (because Swing Shift re-lost it, according to Day Shift, naturally, because they all hate each other) so I was still out of luck.  AND, not only did I not have MY chit, this staff member was "unable to leave the kitchen due to his responsibility of monitoring offenders" so I had to go out of MY way to give him back HIS chit.  *sigh*  People...

Now, future prison librarians, when equipment is lost or broken, a report must be written before anything can be fixed or replaced.  So I wrote my report and made sure to make it clear that this was everyone's fault but mine, and got a response from the locksmith that I was, as always, perfect and would have a new chit by tomorrow.  As I was leaving today and grumbling to the lobby officer that people really need to pay attention to things when they work in prison, he made an optimistic guess that it would turn up as soon as I got my new one.  This gave me pause and shifted my perspective because as soon as he said that I realized that this seeming inconvenience might actually turn into a windfall of OC chits which would mean that instead of just one can of OC, I could potentially have TWO--ONE ON EACH HIP!  Ha, take THAT, potential shenanigizers!

Until next time!

On the issue of Moral Outrage

Good evening, dear future prison librarians.  As many of you may or may not know, I am an Aries, in addition to being a Millennial, so I am a fiery and passionate person when it comes to an issue that I care about.  As you may recall from my previous posts on the current Censorship Ridiculousness we are experiencing in the correctional facility that shall remain nameless, I am a proponent of Intellectual Freedom and the Prisoners' Right to Read.  Recently, one of the books from my collection that was sent to the Powers That Be for a decision on how much nudity is too much nudity was deemed too nude, and required to be de-accessioned.

When I heard the final decision, I immediately thought, "What the BLEEEEEEEEP!"  And then I thought, "This book is a work of art by a world-renowned photographer, how can they say that THIS art is NOT ART?"  When I expressed my dismay to my consultant the conversation went like this:

Me: "I am MORALLY OUTRAGED at this censorship decision!!!"
Consultant: "Do you mean you are concerned because it goes against the grain of librarians' professional standards?"
Me: "Sure, that sounds good."
Consultant: "Well, I understand your feelings, but just remember that you must follow the policy even if you don't agree with it."
Me: *Uncharitable thoughts about how the Nazis also preached following policy when clearly it was not morally right.* "SIGH.  FINE."

It didn't really end like that.  I said more professional things but that's what I was thinking.  Then I had a weekend and some time away from the situation and I came to some realizations:
1.)  Moral outrage against the Nazis is completely ok, because that was horrendous.  Censorship of female breasts...maybe not as much of a world crisis.
2.)  I can only change what I can, and I must learn to accept those things that I cannot change.  Also, I can control how I react to things, even if I don't control those things.  BUT, luckily for me, the only constant in prison is change and maybe when there is a new regime there will be a new policy when they realize that there is such a thing (according to the Sex Offender Treatment mental health professionals) as healthy sexuality and the human body won't be seen as something that is dirty and should be covered up.
3.)  While we TRY to run on a public library model, we are NOT a public library.  It is still our responsibility to get to yes in a culture built on no, but we also need to realize when it is time to accept the no, at least for the time being.

So, loyal readers, that is what has been going on in my neck of the woods lately.  I see many more de-accessioned books in my future but it is what it is.  I will still continue to promote the benefits of allowing people to make their own reading choices and maybe one day someone who is in charge of creating the policy will agree with me.  Until next time!

Hey! Stop touching her!

In prison, one of the first things you learn as a staff member is that there is absolutely no touching allowed. This includes high-fives, shoulder-to-shoulder joint reading of a magazine, holding hands while listening to music, and getting freaky in the stacks. (While I personally have never had to deal with the last one, there are many prison librarians that have. So if that weirds you out, you may want to consider a different line of work. Although I hear that public library patrons sometimes watch porn on the public computers so pick your poison I guess. And kids are sexting all over the place now so even school libraries are not sex-free zones.) The reason for this rule is because there are a lot of sexual predators in prison (imagine that) and sometimes the women who are being touched are not willing girlfriends but victims. The whole saying "There is no consensual sex in prison" is true, and if anyone is caught having sex in prison they may have to register as a sex offender, even if they were just there on some minor drug charges.

The whole no touching rule has been so ingrained in my psyche that I now have a hard time keeping myself from telling people to stop touching when I am in a public place. And if someone touches me, like by brushing my fingers when they are handing me my receipt at the store, it takes a lot of will power to keep myself from saying "Hey, that's not appropriate."

My favorite no touching story from my three years inside is when I saw two women holding hands while they were listening to music. I took them out in the hall (*note to potential prison librarians-it is always a good idea to take confrontations out into the hallway and away from a possible audience) and asked why they were holding hands. The answer? "She is going to be doing my nails later today!" Not on my watch ladies! What happened instead? Their library time got cut short, and they had to go to the clinic for an anatomical exam and they were seperated by pods in their unit, never to have library time together again! Muahahahahahaha!