Censorship update Update

Greetings and Happy Sunday, dear readers!

As you may remember from previous posts in 2013 and 2015, the poor C Encyclopedia has had a bad rap in prison because it contained an inflammatory article about codes, that people in prison might use to make more sophisticated codes.  Regardless of the Prison Librarian Battle Cry of "We don't censor something based on what someone might do with it!" that volume was pulled and relegated to the back office, never again to see the light of day.

Or so I thought....

I am pleased to report, future prison librarians, that my old colleague confirmed that the C Encyclopedia was FINALLY ALLOWED BACK ON THE SHELF!  Huzzah!  The people rejoice!  And, since nobody took my bet saying that it would never be allowed, I shall return my $20 to my wallet and sip my wine with satisfaction as I bask in the glow of intellectual freedom and anti-censorship.

Until next time!

Au Revoir, Mintern!

Greetings dear readers!  I am pleased and also a little bit sad to report that Mintern has reached her MRD and will be leaving the world of prison librarianship for the fun and exciting world of life beyond bars in public librarianship!  She received an amazing new job opportunity (within walking distance from her apartment, woohoo!) and I am so proud of her!  I fondly remember the day I got my first inquiry email from Mintern asking about the possibility of doing her internship with me, and I am so glad I jumped through all the prison hoops to get her on board because in addition to having the most amazing staff person, I also made a life-long friend.

Now, just because she is out of prison doesn't mean you can't ask us your prison-related questions because we are still very involved and we have lots of friends that we left behind.  In fact, I see great potential for collaboration in our new positions, and we are still very interested in helping people find the resources they need to have success in their lives.  Best of luck to you in your new endeavor, Mintern!  After working in prison libraries, everything else will seem easy for you!

Until next time!

Vandalism (Warning: Graphic Content)

Well dear readers, I thought vandalism with human feces was something that was relegated to prison, but today I heard a story that shot that assumption straight to hell.

I have been sick for a week and not checking my work email so when I was at a meeting today I was curious about what incident report a neighboring branch manager was referring to when she was shaking her head at people. Turns out, last week a patron felt it necessary to defecate in the library restroom and then take his waste and write F*** N***** in capital letters on the floor. Clearly, this deranged individual didn't censor his sentiments as I have, but I guess he thought he would make an impression on the branch manager, who is black. I wish I had written her exact words down this morning because she handled it with elegance and a sense of humor when she said, "I've had 51 years of dealing with this skin color, but he wrote with his own feces that he picked out of the toilet. Who's the real winner here?"  I wish that they had DNA tested it though, so we could hold him accountable there would be some consequences for this person and his disgusting hate speech that has no place in this world. This country is facing some scary times because many people think this kind of thing is ok. We need to do everything in our power to lead by example and spread love to combat this vitriolic hate.

For some reason, male public library patrons have a huge problem using the toilet facilities appropriately. Maybe that's the same with male prison library patrons too...I don't know for sure...but it definitely seems to be a public library problem. They like to flush things that don't belong in the toilet and also LOVE putting tons of toilet paper in the bowl and then going...maybe to minimize the splashing? Who knows.  After dealing with my 75th exploding toilet the other day, I told my husband, "I am very mentally stable, but if I ever have a nervous breakdown it will be because of this men's restroom."

Now, there are prison library patrons who smear fecal matter in their cells, but you immediately know who they are and as much as it shouldn't be, that is something that is more "normal" behavior there. Luckily we never had it on library books at my library, although I did hear of one patron who took an urban fiction book and literally blew his nose in the middle and then put it in the book drop. This is when it's really important to remember the #1 Golden Prison Rule: If it's wet, and it's not yours, don't touch it.

So, loyal followers, if you are pursuing a library degree but have not yet had the pleasure of working in a library, just be advised that this is something that you may have to deal with. If you already work in libraries and you think, "Yes, this is something I see on a daily basis" then you have my solidarity and sympathy. Hopefully you feel that the work you do to bring information to the people and serving the undeserved is worth the drama, and if not, then there are many alternative careers you can do with your library degree and experience.

Until next time!

Awesome professional position, apply now!

Good morning dear readers! I wanted to let you know of a great professional prison librarian opportunity in Sterling, CO.

Details can be found here: https://www.libraryjobline.org/job/5877/Librarian-II?ref=page1

Now Colorado is interesting because they used to limit their applicants to residents. But, jobs in small towns like Sterling were going unfilled due to lack of qualified applicants so they changed their rules and now this is a great opportunity to get your foot in the door with one of the best prison library systems in the country.

The starting pay is pretty good, and the benefits are amazing, especially the retirement system. With that salary in a place where cost of living is minimal, you could probably buy a house if you wanted to. Now, there's not much to do out there and it's 2+ hours away from Denver and 3 or more from skiing, but in the prison librarian job market where it's nearly impossible to get a professional position, this is worth it.

Review my interview tips in previous blogs and let me know if you have questions. Good luck!

Hello...it's me.....

To quote the ubiquitous chanteuse Adele, "Hello from the other side!"  Greetings dear readers!  It's your friendly neighborhood prison-turned public librarian.  I bet you thought you'd never hear from me again, but here I am, and unlike Adele, I don't want to just sit and talk about how great things used to be because things are pretty awesome right now!  So, what have you all been up to since I wrote last?  I saw that we have 18 followers, which I am pretty sure is more than we had last time I checked.  (If anyone is fact-checking my blog in between debates and you're like, "Well, actually last time you had 20" then thank you 18 for sticking around! :-) )

So, I am back because I have been working on a presentation lately with a prison librarian in my great new state and we are going to collaborate at a conference about how public libraries can help patrons re-entering society after incarceration.  Because the topic of mass incarceration is being recognized as a serious issue lately-ish, people in positions to help other people are becoming more mindful of the need to help those whom society has forgotten about.

In preparation for our presentation, I watched Ava DuVernay's documentary 13th because if I am going to recommend it to others, I should know what it's all about.  It's streaming on Netflix right now, and if you don't have Netflix, either get Netflix or watch it with someone who does.  The film is extremely well done and will make you mad as hell.  I had no idea that the 13th Amendment had a clause in it that allows slavery if you are convicted of a crime.  That revelation made me start thinking a lot, and I Googled the Black Lives Matter campaign, because all I knew about them was hearsay.  Black Lives Matter activists are featured prominently in the documentary, and their message is not that your life doesn't matter if you're not black, but that when we humanize this group that has been de-humanized for so long, we all win.

One part that struck a chord in their Guiding Principles under the Black Villages box was the commitment that they will "...support each other as extended families and 'villages' that collectively care for one another..."  If you are in my generation, you all heard "It takes a village to raise a child" while growing up and I know I enjoyed having neighbor moms around to go to if I crashed my bike, wanted to play, or needed a cookie (or two) if my single mom was at work.  Then, as I got older and made the decision to not have kids and didn't really have any little kids in my life, kids just became an annoying but necessary part of continuing the human race.

But then today it was 6 pm at the library and there were three young Latina girls who asked to use the phone to call their mom for a ride home, and the mom said she wouldn't be able to be there for 20 minutes.  That's a problem when the library is closed, so the Children's Librarian and I waited with them in the lobby so they wouldn't be unattended outside the library in the rain where who knows what terrible things could happen to them.  The librarian is awesome with kids (hence why she's a children's librarian) and they started telling silly jokes and riddles to pass the time.  I went outside of my comfort zone and told them the only joke I know:

Me: "How many librarians does it take to change a light bulb?"
Girl #1: "Ummm, three!"
Girl #2: "TEN!"
Girl #3: "Zero!"

I loved their enthusiasm and when I told them the answer, "I don't know, but I'll look it up for you!" they all laughed and it was awesome, because honestly, I try to not deal with the kids too much because I am used to adults, having come from an adult prison, and I don't want them to hate me because I don't know how to interact with them haha.  But this was a perfect example of what it means to have a village to care for you.  I can see how having three kids would be chaotic to say the least, and if you live in an area where the native language is not your first language, it can be even more difficult to navigate and learn the norms.  However, because she knew she could trust the library to entertain her kids and keep them safe while she shopped for groceries we were able to help her care for her family.  Now, granted, we talked to her when she got there so that this wouldn't become an all-the-time thing, but we were there when she needed us, and I hope that she felt like we cared for her and that her life and her children's lives are important, because that's the key to fixing everything in my opinion is to treat everyone like they matter, because they do.

Here is the link to the trailer for 13th:



Until next time!

Well, I've reached my MRD*...

*MRD = Mandatory Release Date: the date where an offender's sentence is complete and they must be kicked out of prison, or the joking reference to a prison staff person's quitting/retirement date

Greetings, Dear Readers!  It's your friendly neighborhood prison librarian coming to you for the last time as a prison librarian.  Some really positive changes have happened in my life recently and my HB and I have made the big decision to pull up our roots, load up our dog, and move to a land far, far away where we have shiny new jobs.

It's weird thinking of myself as anything other than a prison librarian because I have spent so much time crafting that part of my identity.  Once I realized that getting a job outside of prison was not what the universe wanted for me at the time, I threw myself into being the best prison librarian I could be and I endeavored to be the role model and mentor that was not there when I ended up in prison six long years ago.  I must also admit that all the attention was fun when I was introduced as the prison librarian at cocktail parties, haha.

Landing my new job as a supervisor at a small public library was so whirlwind that it was hard to ignore the sign that it was time to turn to the next chapter in my life.  It also proved to me that my job application tips are on point, so pay attention and review all the posts about hiring tips, future prison librarians.  :-)

Spending six years in the unique, interesting, and oftentimes crazy environment that is a prison library changed me as a person.  I overcame some extremely difficult personal struggles and learned what it is that really brings me joy: helping people.  I know that I would not be where I am today without that amazing experience and the amazing people who mentored and challenged me along the way.

Leaving Mintern is the hardest part of this transition.  She is one of my favorite people in the entire world, and I have never laughed so hard at work before she came on board.  My dream is to poach her from prison and bring her with me into the public library world, because any library would be extremely lucky to have her on their staff.  I am truly blessed to know her.

I am intrigued to see how my prison skills will play out in the public library world, so I tagged this post Goodbye but it is more of a See You Later.  If any of you loyal readers have questions about being a prison librarian I am still more than happy to answer them for you.  And I am still going to be in contact with Mintern so if you really need a prison insider perspective, I can forward your questions.  If any situations are as hilarious, or are relevant to the blog, then I will still keep posting.

Thank you all so much, dear readers, for your continued support of this blog.  I wish you all the best of luck in your quest to become prison librarians.  It is indeed a noble profession and you will touch more lives than you ever thought possible.  The library patrons you meet in prison will try you and test you and make you so frustrated, but they will also be the most thankful patrons you will ever meet, and you will definitely make a positive impact on them and in the world.

Until next time!

Prison Laugh o' the Day

Conversation between Mintern and myself today:

Mintern *re-classifying books*: "OMG, HOW do I get the spine labels to print??"
Me: "You have to use the spine label template I emailed you a while back. The file has that exact name."
Mintern: "I have that, but how do you get them to go into the template?"
Me: "You copy and paste them!"
Mintern: "I did that and it puts them all on one!"
Me: "You have to do it one at a time."
Mintern: *facepalm* "I quit!"

Hahaha. That's prison for ya!

Until next time!

It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!

Hello readers, and Happy Holidays!  I was sitting in my kitchen tonight, making some holiday cookies for our work potluck ("Please do not eat raw cookie dough" the package said...Ha! Not only did I eat the raw cookie dough, I COVERED IT IN SPRINKLES.  #WinningAtChristmas) and I realized I have never written a Christmas blog, which is something that is long overdue because the holidays are a time in prison where the creativity really comes out.

During December, most people are busy decorating their homes with lights, hanging stockings, and buying presents.  In prison, there are still Christmas trees, although they are made with toilet paper cores and typically don't last much longer than the next count time because holiday decorations are contraband.  One of my clerks was complaining that she had THREE of her Special Toilet Paper Roll Christmas Trees taken in shakedowns (by The Grinch, to hear her tell it haha) and all I could think was "HOW DID YOU GET THAT MUCH TOILET PAPER???"   She also claimed that the staff were taking them to decorate their own homes because they were so awesome.  In addition to that being against the rules, how cool could they really be?  Although you do never know.  I have seen some pretty amazing creations in prison, and not just the paper mache di--....Um...this is a Christmas blog so I am not going to go there right now lol.

Another really awesome thing we do in prison is decorate the library.  One year during the Winter Reading Program the clerks made some intricate snowflakes using the patterns in this book and I loved them so much, I laminated all of them so we could hang them from the ceiling tiles year after year.  (A few years after I started doing that, I read in the rules that absolutely nothing was supposed to be hung from the ceiling....oops...)  We also put red paper Santa hats on EVERYTHING, and we put a really big one on the giant alien picture that one of our clerks drew that was supposed to hang on the wall during Supernatural Month but ended up being a year-round decoration.  (It also has a shamrock hat for St. Patrick's Day, a heart hat for Valentine's Day, a pirate hat for Talk Like a Pirate Day...ok I made that last one up but you can bet it will have one in September if that clerk still works there then.)

Because so many of my patrons have kids at home, our reading program is REALLY popular at Christmas.  It's good though, because the moms get to send their kids a present with their voice or face, and the kids get early childhood literacy, so it's a win-win!  Another way parents in prison can get their kids presents is through the Angel Tree program.  When I was little and used to go to church, my mom, sister and I would pick a child's name off the Angel Tree and buy them some presents and some warm clothes.  It was a great way for my mom to instill the value of giving and not just receiving during the holidays, although maybe she did it too well because now I get so excited to give people presents I want them to open them NOW. ;-)  I never realized until I started working in prison that those gifts were for children of incarcerated parents.  It's a great program for the kids, but seeing it from the other side and the sense of entitlement that the women had when they were talking about signing all their kids up for Angel Tree...it just made me wish they were a little more humble about it and thankful that people would go out of their way to help their children have a good Christmas.  Instead, it was more like they were owed this opportunity and people would FLIP OUT about how unfair it was if they missed the deadline to submit the info to the Case Managers.  But, the kids can't help how the parents are, and they shouldn't suffer because of their parent's poor life choices, so, dear readers, if you see an Angel Tree anywhere and you can spare some extra money, please consider helping out.

And no matter what holiday you are celebrating (or not celebrating) this time of year, may you have many blessings and may this upcoming new year be your best one yet.

Until next time!

Censorship update

Greetings, fearless readers!  I wanted to give you an update to a blog post that I wrote in 2013 about censorship ridiculousness.  Please note, it is almost 2016.  Do you remember the good ol' C Encyclopedia?   The one we had to pull because it had stuff about codes that people might use to make even more sophisticated codes, because the higher-ups haven't gotten the memo that we don't censor something based on what someone *might* do with it?  Yeah, that encyclopedia is STILL on the review shelf in the office.  Honestly, it is probably out of date by now and should be weeded.  *SIGH*  Do you see what I mean about things not happening quickly in prison?  I kind of feel like we should start taking bets on how long it will take to make a decision on if we can just take that article out and put the rest of the C information back out for people.  I am going to put my money on FOREVER.  Any takers?  Haha.

Until next time! 

So...how did you end up in prison?

Hello everyone!  Tonight's topic is one that always makes me laugh and that is answering the follow-up questions you get when you tell people you are a prison librarian.  I have covered this topic before in the post about fun with telling people you want to prison, and also how to make polite conversation about prison, but people seldom read blogs word for word, or if they do they might forget, so here it is again. :-)

Probably the most common question I get is: "So....how did you end up in prison?"  The truth is, I ended up in prison completely by accident and it was all my best librarian friend's fault because she sent me the job link and said, "I think you should apply!  I see this job open all the time!"  Ha, that should have been our first sign!  Anyway... I am glad I did end up there though because everything happens for a reason, and if I didn't go to prison I probably would have just kept bartending and wishing I had a job in my field, and I wouldn't have gotten this amazing life-changing experience and I would not have had enough character because when I was little and I didn't want to do something my mom would tell me I should do it anyway because "It builds character."  When I got older I told her I had enough character, thankyouverymuch, but now that I am even older, I am finally at the age where I realize that my mom was right. :-)

The second most common question I get is, "Are you scared?" followed closely by, "Do you have a gun?"  The answer to both is no.  No, I am not scared because I have built a good rapport with staff and patrons and I have laid down the law enough times that people know I am not one of those staff that can be manipulated.  And no, I don't have a gun because they are not allowed, and that would be so terrible if an inmate was able to take my gun away and shoot me with it.  After switching to professional dress, I don't even carry a radio or OC anymore, and I am ok with that.

The next most popular question is, "Do you watch Orange is the New Black?"  Also, no.  I read the book and thought it was interesting, and I chose to ignore the part where Piper gives detailed instructions about how to steal chicken from the chow hall because I believe in intellectual freedom a little bit more than the restrictive censorship rules, but I watched one and a half episodes on Netflix and decided to stop because I didn't like the way staff was portrayed in the series.  To be fair, one of the wardens I know actually met her and said the same thing about the series I did and he said she apologized and explained that it was the show producers making it like that for dramatic effect.  The one thing I do like about that show though is that it humanizes the prison population, and reminds people on the outside that offenders are actually so much more than just their crime or their DOC number.

Whenever I meet non-prison librarians, they will ask what our collection looks like.  Many people think offenders have different reading habits and are very surprised when they hear that prison library patrons' reading tastes are the same as yours and mine.  We need to give them the opportunity to read for themselves, because if we censor all the things, how are they going to learn to make decisions for themselves about what is good for them?  People naturally want to do what other people tell them they can't, so if a prison bans Robert Greene or Laurell K. Hamilton because they don't like the "unsavory" content, they are actually not doing their offenders any favors.

Until next time!

Professional prison librarian job, apply by December 21

Hello readers!

Here is a great opportunity for a professional prison librarian position that pays well and is in a town where the cost of living is low:

Librarian II--Canon City, CO

However, you have to be a resident of Colorado, so if you are (or can be)-APPLY!

This prison's gone to the cats and dogs!

Greetings, loyal followers!  Today, the topic is everyone's favorite thing: cute animals!  Many prisons use animals for therapy and as a way of teaching offenders a useful skill to ensure a positive re-entry.  My prison has a dog program (as you may remember from the story about the dog we were going to hire to help with our weeding haha) and my HB and I have decided that our next dog will definitely come from prison.  The patrons have really been hitting up Mintern because they think she needs a dog too haha.

Here are some websites, in case you are interested in getting a prison dog too:

Prison Pet Partnership- Washington. Provides service dogs for people with disabilities, grooming and boarding and Parolled Pets who didn't quite make it as a service dog but are still in need of a good home.  Also they have cats too!

Dawgs in Prison-Florida.  8 week training sessions to get rescued dogs ready for their forever home.

4 Paws for Ability- Ohio.  Trains assistance dogs for children worldwide.

America's Vet Dogs- Massachusetts, Maryland, Connecticut, and Florida.  Train dogs to work with America's wounded veterans.  Few things pull at my heartstrings more than dogs who help wounded veterans.  

Colorado Cell Dogs- Colorado.  Prison trained service animals and pets.  

Until next time! 

Amazing program at a prison library

Hello dear readers, and Happy December!  I was Googling around about prison libraries a while back and came across this amazing program that was hosted by Denver Women's Correctional Facility in Colorado: http://community.malala.org/malala-makes-surprise-visit-to-malala-book-club-at-high-security-priso-1215466626.html.

Now, THIS is an example of using your resources!  Malala was already in Denver for a speaking engagement, so what a fantastic idea to see if she would be willing to speak at the prison library too!  The fact that they made it around a book club for her book I am Malala is inspired, and genius!  I can see why Colorado has their reputation of one of the top prison library systems in the country.

Well done, everyone!  Thank you for being an example of being fearless and creative.  Remember, future prison librarians, it never hurts to ask for what you want because what's the worst they could say?  No?  And then if that is the case you are the same as when you started and if they say yes, then you have possibly the best program that has ever been offered in a prison library.  Although good luck making your next book club as cool. ;-)

Until next time!

New Maintenance record!

Hello loyal readers!  I hope this recent holiday found you all stuffed with turkey and enjoying football and your families, and if that's not how you celebrate then I hope whatever you did brought you great joy!

I am happy to report that the library has finally been painted!  And only seven months after I put in the work order!  Now, you may read that and think seven months?  Lady, you are loco!  But please note, future prison librarians, things in prison do not move fast at all.  Remember how I told you we still have Microsoft office 2003?  Yeah, 7 months is like the speed of light around here.

Although, to be fair, the maintenance guys are awesome, and all my other tickets get processed really fast.  Painting the library is hard work because you have to get lots of paint and move tons of books so they don't get paint splatter everywhere.  And they did an amazing job.  Mintern calls it "Buttercream."  I am going to call it "Ivory Castle."  Ha!

We are still working on an accent wall.  For some reason they just laugh hysterically when I tell them it needs to be purple...

Until next time!

Wacky prison weather, part 3

Hello dear readers, and happy almost Thanksgiving!  This blog took me a while to write because it was so stressful, but I have finally processed it and can laugh at it now.

The past two summers have been insane in terms of weather that is not normal for this part of the country.  Tornadoes in Tornado Alley?  OK, fine.  Tornadoes in a place that never has tornadoes?  NOT OK.

To set the scene:

Mintern and I were alone in the library office, the patrons and clerks having returned to their units for the 4 o'clock count.  I, in my fancy new office fashioned from a hand-me-down cubicle wall with door and window, was looking at the emerald green clouds swirling over the greenbelt while Mintern slaved away at her never-ending stack of interlibrary loan requests.  The clouds started moving in a counter-clockwise circle reminiscent of the last time we had a funnel cloud directly outside the library.  This summer was different though, because we now have a video camera thanks to our Read to the Children program!

I grabbed the camera and began recording.  (Because I ended up making a video but I included identifying information that can't be edited out on my phone, I am not going to post it, but instead I will post a transcript so you can see what was going on.)

Opening credits slowly appear on a black screen...Birth of a Tornado....
Me: "Alright, I'm videotaping it.  We'll put it on a DVD...show everyone the birth of the tornado!"
Me: *watches in awed silence for a few seconds*
Me: "Yeah those are definitely moving around in a circle."
Mintern: "Yeah they are!"
Me: "I wonder if we should call Master Control?"
Mintern: "Did you check the weather?"
Me: "I checked the news, and it just said flood warning."
Mintern: "That is super creepy!"
Me: "Yeah."
Me: "Maybe we should call S_____." (our boss)
Mintern: "S______!" (haha)
Me: "Maybe I should call my HB."
Me: *hands the camera to Mintern*
Me, in the background on the phone with my HB who has a degree in meterology: "Yeah the two times I have been here they have not done the tornado siren though...Ok you're saying we should probably get in the closet...well I can't drive, you can't drive in a tornado!...Well it's right outside the library...Ok thank you for the weather update..."

The video ends then, because I decided that I would go against HB's advice and make a run for it and try to get home before the tornado hit.  I told Mintern to get in the closet if it got worse and I headed towards the lobby.  As I was leaving, the Shift Commander and some of the yard staff were admiring the unusual atmospheric conditions from the ground but nobody seemed overly concerned.  I made it to the lobby just as the tornado sirens started blaring but I told the lobby officer I was going to make a run for it and to wish me luck...

Now, dear readers, hindsight is 20/20.  What happened next was the most stupidest thing I could have EVER done.  I got in my Jeep and started driving home, which, as luck would have it, was right towards the center of the tornado.

I got, maybe 300 yards away from the prison when the hail started.  All of a sudden, the air around me was slate grey and thick with rain pounding my Jeep sideways.  I pulled over because I realized it wasn't smart to be driving and started surveying my options.  Conditions got worse and worse, and it sounded like the hail was going to break the glass in the windows any minute.  The wind was howling, and I felt my Jeep rock a little bit.  Cars kept driving past me and I was thinking, ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY!! THE TORNADO IS RIGHT THERE!!!!"  (I found out later that the tornado did, in fact, touch down 1/4 mile from where I was...YIKES!!!)

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I knew I had to get out of there.  I didn't care that it was a one way street, every instinct in my body was telling me to MOVE.  I threw the Jeep in drive and made a U-turn.  Luckily, nobody was coming at that moment.  I drove the wrong way down the one way street, praying that nobody would hit me and hoping that anyone seeing me scared enough to flee like that would have second thoughts about driving into the raging fury that lay ahead.  I dodged one car by mere inches and then I was back on the two lane road, headed towards my safe haven of prison.

I pulled in the parking lot pursued by pelting rain and driving hail the size of golf balls.  One hit me in the ear as I ran towards the lobby.  Seeing me coming, the staff who were smart enough to stay inside opened the door and ushered me to safety.  Outside, the storm lasted for what seemed like hours, but 30 minutes later the wind died down and the sky cleared up.  I called Mintern to check on her, and she said HB had called and she told him I left and he was extremely worried.  I never take my cell phone to work because I don't want to fry its little phone brain in the hot car, so Mintern called HB and patched him through to the lobby so I could let him know I was ok.

When I left work, the road I normally take looked like Armageddon had hit.  The bridge over the stream was flooded (I forged on through, because Jeep, but don't you do that dear readers.  Aside from driving right into the tornado, driving through a flood is the second worst thing you can do) and giant tree branches were littering the road.  The street was a green carpet of leaves and you could not even see the asphalt.  All the shutters on the houses looked like someone had thrown baseballs at them and some of the siding looked the same.  I finally made it home safely, and I definitely learned a lesson because I have never been so scared in my entire life.

But, all's well that ends well and what doesn't kill makes you stronger, and I will never scoff at the forces of nature again.

Until next time!

Prison in the News

Hello there readers! I was just perusing Buzzfeed and I came across this article about the tablets that have popped up in many facilities across the nation:

Apps For Inmates
http://www.buzzfeed.com/charliewarzel/reforming-prison-education-by-giving-ipads-to-inmates?utm_term=.eanamOo67n

While the article does make good points about teaching offenders about technology, I would like to add a side note that 3.5 seconds after they were introduced at one of our facilities, some staff members had smuggled in micro SD cards full of porn. *sigh*

Until next time!

Team Library just keeps finding pills!

Hello readers!  Do you remember when Team Library found pills in the fiber pills bottle during a shakedown, and when Mintern found the pill she thought was a Skittle in the hallway?  Well I found another pill the other day, so we could practically have a library pharmacy if we didn't take them all to the clinic!

The other day I was walking into the library and my eye was admiring our fancy new furniture when my brain sent off the warning signal that something wasn't right with the scene.  I stopped for a half second and realized what it was: A PILL!  There was small, round, white pill that was sitting under the chair, like it had fallen out of someone's pocket while they were enjoying the comfort you can't find anywhere except the library.

I picked it up in a glove because this drill becomes rote after a while and I wrote my incident report and took it to the clinic.  The nurse identified it as Wellbutrin, which is a prescription anti-depressant that should have been swallowed in Med Line, but instead was smuggled out somehow and was probably bartered for stolen library materials....but I digress.  My ears heard "Wellbutrin," but my brain heard "Ibuprofin," (the same active ingredient in Advil) and so I told the nurse she could just throw it away.  As luck would have it, the Shift Commander was standing right next to me and she interrupted the exchange with, "OR YOU COULD HAVE THE SHIFT COMMANDER TAKE A PICTURE OF IT TO SUBMIT WITH YOUR REPORT LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO!" but she said it with a smile so I didn't take any offense.  It just so happened that she had her new work cell phone there with a camera so she snapped a quick photo and I didn't even have to go to the Evidence Room.  Problem solved, and relatively quickly too!

Until next time!

Prison Laugh o' the Day, but then also some thoughts

Patron overheard talking to her friend in the library:
"Oh no, unlike everyone else in here, I am actually guilty..."

That is one of the stereotypes of prison-that everyone inside thinks they are not guilty and are there because of The Man, or whatever.  When I first heard this patron say that, I laughed to myself but then it made me reflect on what I have observed during my six years behind the walls.  Many of my patrons are in prison because of substance abuse.  Now, I am not a mental health professional, but I have spent many hours observing and interacting with my patrons on a professionally personal level (i.e. they feel comfortable enough with me to let their guard down and share things and I direct them to library resources to help them with their information needs related to what they want to work on at the time) and I see lots of patterns.

In my opinion, substance abuse is self-medicating the deeper problem of people having pain in their lives that they find it difficult to overcome.  Working in prison has made me realize how extremely blessed I am to have come from a stable and loving home, and even though my parents divorced when I was young, they were mature enough to not let their problems bleed over into my life and they were both involved with raising me and I feel like I turned out pretty good.  However, many of my patrons had parents who abused them, took drugs in front of them when they were kids, and/or were in prison themselves, among many other things.  It's easy to sit up on a high horse and judge people who have fallen so far down that they hit rock bottom and kept digging, but how can you really know that if you had been faced with the same situations you wouldn't have turned out the same way?

One of the saddest stories I heard about one of my patrons was the girl who was 22 years old, in prison for many years, and her mom used to sell her to men to rape for drug money.  If that wasn't bad enough, she saw her brother murdered in front of her in their living room.  When I first met her, she was one of the most disrespectful people I had ever encountered and I could tell she was full of hate.  She spent more time locked up in segregation than she did in the library for the first couple years I knew her.  But then, things began to change, and she would say hello back when I said hi in the yard.  She started coming to the library more, and then one day she was showing the library clerks how to make 3D origami stars.  Stories like that really underscore the notion that you should be kind to everyone because you don't know the personal battles that people are fighting.

One of the favorite lines that the patrons say is "Oh, staff.  They are just like us, the only difference is, they haven't been caught yet."  Unfortunately, that is sometimes true.  When I first started I had an officer friend who was awesome, and then one day she wasn't at work anymore.  Turned out, she had a hot UA, or in laymen's terms, she had to take a drug test and failed.  It's really hard to maintain any credibility when you tell people not to do something and then turn around and get caught doing the same thing.

Until next time!

Reader Appreciation

Greetings, dear readers!  It's your friendly neighborhood prison librarian here with a very important message:

THANK YOU!!!!!! :-)

I appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to read my blog, especially when there are many blogs out there in the world to read.  When I first started this blog oh-so-many years ago, I was super excited when I got 5 views in a week, and most of those were probably my mom, haha.  Now, I am pleased to report that this blog has more than 19,700 views!  Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought that this little coping mechanism blog that I started to help people learn what it was really like being a prison librarian would appeal to so many people.  Also, I have FIFTEEN followers!  That's more people than my prison library employs!  Simply amazing.  Thank you all so much.

Because you make reading my blog a priority, I am going to make writing more blog posts a priority too.  So, for the next month, I promise that I will post new blogs at least two times per week.  Also, I have been getting many emails to my askaprisonlibrarian@gmail.com email address, so it seems to be a great way to connect with you about questions specific to your situation.  Keep them coming, I want to answer questions YOU want to know about!

Until next time, which won't be as long as last time!

Prison Laugh o' the Day

Clerk: "I think this library needs to get its priorities straight."
Mintern: "How so?"
Clerk *Pulls out Homer's Odyssey and Homer's The Odyssey* "Why do we have two copies of a book about a stupid blind cat, but we don't have one copy of The Stand?"

Mintern had to hold back a laugh as she explained that we don't have two copies of a book about the cat. One is about the cat. The other is a Greek Classic. 

It was a priceless moment.